Starting a new chapter — and owning who I am while doing it

FullSizeRender(1)Just over a month ago I made the jump from DC to NYC (for the second time) — without a job! This is the third time I’ve moved to a new city without employment, and I’m happy to say that I started my new job last Tuesday. It’s only been four days into the job, but so far I am incredibly happy :)

On day three of my brand new job surrounded by my new colleagues I was desperately trying to impress, I did something I didn’t think I would have done (or at least not that soon): I wore my stockings with a dress. You see, I had already chosen the outfits I wanted to wear in my first week at work (gotta dress to impress!). Nowhere in these outfit plannings, though, did I include stockings (it’s hot here and I hate wearing stockings in the summer, and especially hate to wear them with dresses, and ESPECIALLY didn’t want to stick out at my new job).

That and it was only one year ago I wore exposed stockings to work for the first time; one year ago I wore stockings with something above the knee; and less than one year ago I wore a dress with stockings at work for the first (and only) time. It may be glacial progress, but at least it’s progress.

After day 1 and day 2 on the job NOT wearing stockings my legs were really unhappy with me. Day 3 I had a choice to make:

1. Wear my original outfit without the stockings and continue to see a decline in my legs

2. Wear stockings, but change my outfit to include pants so as to conceal the stockings

3. Go with the original outfit AND wear the stockings

Continue reading →

What if?

What if I break a bone?

What if I cut myself while shaving?

What if my swelling gets worse and never goes back down again?

What if everyone stares at me when I wear stockings with shorts? Or a skirt?

And what if they’re thinking what a freak I am? What’s WRONG with that girl?

What if I’ll never be beautiful enough to find a mate?

What if I never find my soul mate because I was too afraid to let down my wall?

But what if I do let down my wall and my heart gets broken because the compression stockings and the night garment and the pump are just too much for him?

Continue reading →

Motivation Monday — September 29, 2014

~ On Mondays (Motivation Monday!) I write a post with a quote to motivate and inspire. Sometimes it will be something directly related to lymphedema, and sometimes it will just be because I like the quote. But it will always be something worth sharing. ~


 

get-back-on-track

You may get off track, lose focus and end up in a place you don’t want to be. Have faith. Take a step back, evaluate your life, reconnect with the world, and the people who matter most. Find yourself again. Look out to the horizon, yours dreams may be far off, but they’re there, waiting for you to move toward them.

Motivation Monday — September 1, 2014

~ On Mondays (Motivation Monday!) I write a post with a quote to motivate and inspire. Sometimes it will be something directly related to lymphedema, and sometimes it will just be because I like the quote. But it will always be something worth sharing. ~


0bd04d88948cbc565cc6778d02d120e0Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest.
It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it.
 

For the first 18 years of my life I lived in the same state, the same town, the same house, in the same room. And then I left for college. Since then I’ve live in 3 cities and moved 5 times. Each move I’ve picked up my life and started fresh–either in a new city or a new job. I’ve gotten pretty good at making new friends. And I’ve also learned to appreciate really good friends, those I’ve known since childhood and those whom I’ve met in adulthood. It’s really not about how long you’ve known someone, it’s about how they show you they’re there for you. Really good friends don’t just talk the talk, they walk the walk. Thank you to those who have said “I’m here for you” and proved it. Thank you to those who have been my biggest champions in my lymphedema story. True friends are hard to come by, and I’m so fortunate to have you in my life.

Motivation Monday — August 25, 2014

~ On Mondays (Motivation Monday!) I write a post with a quote to motivate and inspire. Sometimes it will be something directly related to lymphedema, and sometimes it will just be because I like the quote. But it will always be something worth sharing. ~


_3209fb_1c96e7303c123b77bcf0-post

Don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others.

After sending my fundraising email to my family, friends and coworkers, one of the senior staff at work not only contributed to my participation in the walk, but she thanked me for sharing my story.

Of all my coworkers, I least expected her to contribute. So you can imagine how much of an impact her contribution and her thank you for sharing your story meant to me.

At that moment a light went off and I finally realized that I had a story worth sharing. I was finally able to let go of the shame and be open with my coworkers. I shared my story with them and I’m so very glad I did.

I’m here now to share my story with all of you. It is my goal that something I write inspires at least one of you.

Finally sharing my story with the people closest to me (and now the worldwide interwebs!) has been one of the most fulfilling and downright therapeutic experiences of my life. I know I’m getting cheesy here, but bear with me :)

That’s why I encourage all of y’all to do the same. If you’re ready now, or if you need some more time, please feel free to reach out to me. I would love to share your story on this blog, whatever part or whole of your story you choose. You have something worth sharing and I want to give you the opportunity to do so.

This is about your journey–about learning, loving and laughing with lymphedema.

Motivation Monday — August 18, 2014

~ On Mondays (Motivation Monday!) I write a post with a quote to motivate and inspire. Sometimes it will be something directly related to living with lymphedema, and sometimes it will just be because I like the quote. But it will always be something worth sharing. ~


you-miss-100-of-the-shots-you-don-t-take

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky

I have a habit of coming up with some really great ideas (which are usually big risks), I commit to it, and then I start to freak out. Once I start to think through all that actually has to happen, I get scared, project failure and want to back out.

Failure is my worst fear.

But then I realize: well, if I don’t try, then there isn’t even a chance I could succeed. I deprive myself of the opportunity to surprise myself, and at the very least add another life lesson to my belt 😉

If I don’t even try, I live with regret. I live with the shoulda coulda wouldas. I live in the past.

All that you can ask of yourself is to take the shot. And if you miss, so what. You try and try again until you make it. You live in the present, in the moment. You sleep well knowing you tried.